Let me just say this first: there was a time, years back, when I was in good shape. I exercised regularly. I was never skinny because I’m not built that way, but I was in pretty good shape physically. But the key point here is I could do med-hard exercise without much issue. The past few years I have gained a lot of weight, for one reason or another. I am no longer in good shape. I know it. But up until the last year, I could still walk a mile (for example) without a problem. I could still move my out of shape body.
But now, here we are. It’s all difficult. Walking. Exercising. All of it. Part of that is being over-weight, but a big chunk (more than I knew actually) is the fibro/RA taking their toll on me.
All of that said, I know I have to exercise. I need to lose some weight, but more than that I have to keep moving so I can try to keep the fibro and the RA under control. Mostly I have just been walking the dog with Bill, but I have also started adding in some arthritis exercise dvd’s, some light yoga, lots of stretching. I also decided to start taking a “gentle” water exercise class once a week. It is not an arthritis foundation approved class, but it’s in the same vein, I think.
Anyway, yesterday was my first class. I got there early, and checked in at the front desk. I wasn’t sure if I needed to sign in or anything, and I had missed the first class, so I asked if there was anything I needed to do. When I told her what class I was taking, she laughed and said “Oh, that class is easy. Really easy. You can just go in.”
Really easy.
After braving the locker room (how I hate them), I went to the pool, where everyone was at least 30 years older than me. Including the instructor. Most of the ladies were also overweight like me. They were all incredibly nice to me, including the instructor who gave me lots of direction.
But here’s the thing: it wasn’t really easy. Oh, it should have been. With my past exercise knowledge, I know it really is an “easy” class. Besides being in the water, which helps, all of the moves are pretty simple, and there is nothing overly demanding involved.
And yet, I wanted to stop after about eight minutes (yes, I looked at the clock). It was hard. Very hard. Not only that, but it was exhausting. I came home and wanted to go straight to bed.
So, I have to ask: is this my life? That taking the easy class with the 70 year old instructor is going to kick my ass? That my 35 year old body is actually less able to do things than someone’s twice my age? Is this what I have to look forward to?
Does it get better?
I guess we’ll see (there’s that we’ll see again). Maybe with all the meds, and with physical therapy, and with acupuncture, and with regular walking, and with my once a week water class, and with all the other things I am doing, maybe with all of those things my body will be less broken. Will be more functional.
Maybe.
The New Normal 
musefulness
/ April 26, 2012Hang in there! It really can get better!
akajanie
/ April 26, 2012I sure hope so!